Welcome friends. I hope this finds you well, and away from the shadows.

      This week, our society honors the 112th anniversary of the passing of Abraham Stoker. It is impossible for me to imagine one among us who has not turned the pages of his magnum opus and felt our imagination inexorably altered. Indeed, there are two types of literature: works published before, and after, Dracula.

      While Stoker is widely acknowledged for introducing the vampire to the reading audience, we can be assured that the nocturnal subspecies was no less real for existing out of print. Cultures around the world have warned for generations of bloodthirsty beasts that stalked the night. From Greek tales of the flesh-hungry Lamia, to the South American ‘goat-sucking’ chupacabra, we’ve always shared a primal possessiveness over our bodily fluids. In more recent years, stories have evolved beyond the origins of such monsters, to include notions of rivalry between the distinct haemovores. Lycanthropes, for example, have become the mortal enemy of the vampirically afflicted. In my personal dealings, however, I have observed little innate animosity between the two, besides that spurred by the occasional poaching of shared prey.

      Understanding that most vampires you encounter were once themselves victims of the same fate, ought to remind us that we are not helpless to intervene in the propagation of such evil. On the contrary, we need only look to the same source as Stoker all those years ago for age-old advice:

      “every person killed by a nosferatu becomes likewise a vampire after death, and will continue to suck the blood of other innocent people till the spirit has been exorcized, either by opening the grave of the person suspected and driving a stake through the corpse, or firing a pistol shot into the coffin. In very obstinate cases it is further recommended to cut off the head and replace it in the coffin with the mouth filled with garlic, or to extract the heart and burn it, strewing the ashes over the grave.”

- Emily Gerard - Transylvanian Superstitions, July 1885.

      Stakes. Garlic. Decapitation. All good options.


Mar 14, 1879 - Apr 18, 1955 

Theoretical physicist, famed for developing the theory of relativity. After dying from an aneurysm, a pathologist removed his brain without permission. Aged 76


Feb 12, 1809 - Apr 19, 1882 

Father of evolutionary biology. Burdened with chronic illness, died of an apparent heart attack. Buried in Westminster Abbey, close to Isaac Newton. Aged 73.


Nov 8, 1847 - Apr 20, 1912

Irish-born author of Gothic horror novel Dracula. Died at his London home after a series of strokes, and possible complications from syphilis. Aged 65.


1. Major arteries in the neck (7)

2. Dutch vampire hunter (3,7)

4. Fear of sunlight (11)

6. Region in central Romania (12)

9. Gnarly gnashers (7)

10. European title of nobility (5)

12. Castle, medieval stronghold in central Romania (4)


3. The impaler (4)

5. Literary aesthetic of fear, haunting (6)

7. Doomed merchant ship (3,7)

8. Deranged, fanatically devoted servant (8)

9. Funerary box (6)

11. Oxygen-carrying protein (10)

13. Average amount of blood inside an adult human (3,5)

14. Unalive, yet not at rest (6)

"I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul."

– Bram Stoker, Dracula


Dec 22 - Jan 19  

A nearby empath senses your true feelings. Still, it doesn't hurt to communicate.


Jan 20 - Feb 18 

Misfortunate? Your lucky totems may have been corrupted. Time to get a new penny.


Feb 19 - Mar 20  

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.


Mar 21 - Apr 19

When fate knocks this week, don't be alarmed by its appearance. It means no harm.


Apr 20 - May 20

Fooled once, shame on them. Fooled twice, shame on you. Thrice? Cataclysm.


May 21 - Jun 20  

Do not seek the last thing you lost. What awaits to be found ought stay undisturbed.


Jun 21 - Jul 22

Beware offering assistance. Some creatures bite the hand that feeds. Others bite faces.


Jul 23 - Aug 22  

Unsolicited instruction may be a summoning ritual in disguise. Allow others to take the lead.


Aug 23 - Sep 22

Remember Narcissus. Don't reflect near water. Relocate mirrors if necessary.


Sep 23 - Oct 22  

If ailments arise after dark, a curse may be the culprit. Bathe in salt water to cleanse.


Oct 23 - Nov 21

Pay specters of regret no heed. If you give an inch they will take a mile.


Nov 22 - Dec 21

Losing the key to a lock can unbalance your duality. Replace either, with haste.

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